How I Lost 7 Pounds Last Month

I've been doing my own version of Weight Watchers, with the help of a friend at work, and lost 7 pounds. Then I came back from vacation and discovered that I gained them back. At least I know how to lose them again.
The first thing I did was figure out how many "points" I was allowed per day. For quick reference, I'm 120'ish (or was) and allowed 20 points a day. Basically, if you are 150, you get 2 more points per day per 25 lb. increments. (I didn't post the chart so I'm not infringing on anything, right???)
20 points a day sucks. Based on Dottie's Weight Loss Zone, very comprehensive website including restaruants and downloads, my daily Toffee Nut Latte was costing me big, 7 points. That's without the freakin' cream cheese danish. (F***, f***, f***!) Then lunch would consist of a Sonic Jr. Burger meal with medium cherry vanilly Coke... Oh yeah! An 18 point lunch! Fageddabout dinner! If hubby was working, the girls and I would run by BK's, fast and cheap or should I say inexpensive in the monetary sense. Only 29.5 for that one meal.
But hold on to your hats!! It's very common for hubby to come home for his 8:30 p.m. lunch break and join me for a bit of ice cream or cake and a glass of 2% before my bedtime; at least another 7 to 10 there.
And there's more!! It was very common to snack during the day. Occasionally, I have been known to indulge in a candy bar from the vending machine when the mood strikes. Enough already!
I did the math for you... 61.5 points a day. THREE TIMES MY ALLOWANCE!! And of course, no exercise either. It wasn't until I noted what I was eating that it made a difference. When you see this, it isn't a lot of food. Most people would starve on my pre-WW diet.
With the help of my friend and Dottie's website, I made different food choices. I found that I'm actually eating more but making better choices. Basically, I try to eat a 5 point breakfast and lunch, and a 10 point dinner. Better still, I can do 3 or 4 points at breakfast/lunch, and a couple of snacks throughout the day. Check out Dottie's 0 and 1 point food lists!

This is what my "new" menu looks like:
Breakfast:
A large coffee with non-fat, flavored creamer (1)
One bag of Special K snack bites (2)
*A piece of fruit (1 to 2)
Mid-Morning Snack:
*Light Yogurt (1 to 2)
Lunch:
Smart Ones dinner (2 to 4)
Dole Fruit Parfait - These rock! (2)
Mid-Afternoon Snack:
*Laughing Cow Cheese Wedges, Light Original - Another fave! (1)
Low-Fat Wheat Thins - 8 crackers are 1 serving (2)
Dinner:
Pasta w/Marinara (6)
*Lettuce w/croutons, tomatoes, and light dressing (2)
Dessert:
*Blue Bunny Sweet Freedom No Sugar Added Krunch Lites (2)
Total - 28 points*
*Disclaimer - for every 20 minutes of light exercise, you get 2 points. (See next paragraph.)

When I get busy at work, I don't usually eat the fruit or yogurt. I'll have the fruit at lunch. Sometimes I substitute the Dole fruit for plain fruit cup or a WW snack cake, very delish!
Likewise with the mid-afternoon snack, if I get too busy, I skip the cheese but eat the crackers or the 1-point popcorn. At night, sometimes I skip the salad and ice cream. BTW, I've found that when I'm craving ice cream it's really a sign of thirst. I'll drink a glass of water and the craving is gone.
The other hard thing for me is the water... I'm not a freakin' camel! I try to get at least 4 to 5 glasses in but have diet soda throughout the day. (I know it's not good for you but I'm screwed if I have the fully leaded version, 3 points.)
I'm sure you get the gist of what I needed to do to make a difference. (I'm still a little over 20 a day but most days I'm 18 or 19.)
I hope this has helped. I'll be sure to post any nuggets of info I can glean.

Ciao, babes!
Mon :-)

One Catholic’s View of Holy Mass

The following is from another blog:

"Where else but church? On Friday I met a friend for a drink. There was a couple sitting next to us -- early 40s. We got talking to them, and it turns out they both go to my church. One of them actually works for the Diocese. Well, today I went to church and happened to sit down right behind the same couple. If you're Catholic, you know there's a time during the Mass when we all exchange handshakes and extend Christ's peace to one another. Today, when it was time to do that with this couple, the husband offered Christ's peace to me and said my first name, while the wife gave me a big hug and said, "It's good to see you." And she meant it.At moments like this I think to myself, "Even if religion is just something made up to help us feel less alone and afraid, it's still responsible for a lot of good." Footnote: and some bad, too, I know. The litany is familiar."

This post got me to thinking about many things; it actually clarified what I wanted to post today. The one word that struck me was litany.

Backtrack to Ash Wednesday mass; I went to a different parish. Since we’re new to the area, I’m still trying to find the right fit for me. Generally, Ash Wednesday mass, for me, is very powerful. What a beautiful and thought-provoking way to begin the Lenten season and the journey to Easter Tridiuum, and Pentecost.
The kids were in daycare and my husband was off so we were able to go before I went to work with no distractions. I was ready for a powerful lead into Lent but ended up feeling let down.
Of course, a litany is something that is “repeated” but when a Mass is said with reverence, nothing about it seems repetitious. It just didn’t hit me like it usually does. (At times I’ve been known to weep, especially since this is the one season that reminds me of my deceased grandmother; she was as Catholic as they come.)
After doing a little bit of reflection, I figured out what it was.
First: The Homily - Very vanilla. Was this off the cuff or should I say alb?
Second: Distribution of the Ashes – Different but no complaints there. Maybe because there was no music?
Third: The Consecration – Alternate wording, were there a few “liberal” suggestions thrown in? Never heard this “version” before, don’t care to ever hear it again.
Fourth: Purification of the Holy Vessels away from the altar. I can’t say without a doubt that what the priest did is “wrong” but it just didn’t seem right to me.

Just to be open-minded, I went back to this church the next Sunday. The people seemed friendly enough, maybe a little too friendly? I have never been to a noisier mass! Finally, my pet-peeve, the egregious “leaving mass right after Communion”. Is there anywhere that important that you need to leave 5 minutes earlier than everyone else; never mind the disrespect that it shows? I was disappointed that it was allowed.

The churches I’ve been to in the past had strict priests. You didn’t dare leave before Mass had officially ended, they’d point you out in front of the whole congregation. One priest back in Texas even chewed us out one time. He was really upset about our manner of dress. Father reminded some of us that we could get dressed up to party on a Saturday night but come to Mass looking as if we just rolled out of bed. (This was a poor parish but you know as well as I do there’s a difference between not having a decent outfit and looking like you’re hung-over.) Hence the saying, “A lion on the pulpit, a lamb in the confessional.”

Oh yes, the litany of the mass. There’s something comforting about the repetition. (Since I’ve been married, I look forward to the “peace be with you”. I get to hug the hubby and lay a big smackeroo on my girls. Plus, I enjoy saying hello to the people around me.)

I feel sorry for those people that complain that Mass is like a football game, sit down, stand up, rah rah rah! I’ll have to admit, it took me awhile to get it. Dare I say that I learned the significance of our rituals from my students?

As a math teacher, I always felt that the best way for a student to succeed was via multi-modal instruction. Base-ten blocks, graphs, computerized projects and games, etc. I began to see the Mass in the same way. Without the music, the incense, exchanging of greetings, lyrical quality of the Consecration prayers, and meditation after communion, makes all of the difference to me. Just as I know that kids need stability to thrive, I feel that the same stability is necessary in my spiritual life. Hmmm, maybe that’s why we have a Catechism??

I went back to one of the first churches that I visited since our move to AZ. The whole “litany” was a comfort to me. It made me think of a yogi sitting in the lotus position chanting “ohm”. They reach a state of peace as they become centered in the repetition of one little but powerful syllable. I finally made the connection that I need this repetition in my life; something predictable yet comforting.

One more thought… today the priest said that “in turning away from sin, there is pain involved”. Some of the struggles of late have been painful but like working out, it’s a good kind of pain. I appreciate Hoff’s comment that through life coaching, one begins to grow and make positive changes in their own life. I like the thought of becoming not only a role model for my potential clients but especially to my daughters. This reminds me of the other day: So sweetly while sitting on my lap, Kaitlyn caressed my face, pointing out my creases, “Mommy, you’re getting old. I don’t want you to get old ‘cause that means you have to die someday.” Epiphany: I have to die to sin so that I can assure her that when I die, we won’t be apart forever, just for a short while.

"Why don't you shut the f*** up??!!!" aka "How Not to Sucker Punch a Lady While Shopping"

So I'm at Target last night, doing some last minute St. Paddy's day shopping, and had an experience that really pissed me off. Here goes nothin'...
I picked the kids up from daycare/camp and decided that I wanted to get them cute tops for today. (Only $4 at Target!!) Seeing that their grandfather is 100% Irish, we really don't have a say in the matter. (My married last name is about as Irish as you can get!)
As we're getting out of the car, my oldest Kaitlyn (yes, that's Irish too) is tired and fussy. I know that we're only going to make it about five minutes before she falls apart.
Wrong. She becomes argumentative and I tell her if she keeps it up, she'll have to ride in the basket. (Being the precocious 5-yr-old that she is, this is as bad as telling a teenager no phone for a week.) Kaitlyn escalates and as I have been trained to do via years of teaching, if you make a threat, you'd better follow through. Into the basket she goes.
Then she starts the "I wanna get out of the basket" routine. Now the thing I must add about Kaitlyn is that I honestly forget that she is still a young child. (I hate using the word "gifted" because it adds a lot of unnecessary baggage to a kid's life.) She started writing her letters and making very detailed drawings at the age of 2. Her teacher is amazed that she is the youngest in her class (August b-day) and the most advanced. (She is doing both reading and math at about a second grade level.) Plus, I'm in denial. I don't want to think about her as gifted; I had a lonely and unhappy school experience because of it. I'm also beginning to think that she may have a touch of OCD mixed in... once she gets started with a tantrum, there's no stopping. It's almost as if she becomes obsessed with winning the argument. My husband and I are two of the most stubborn people so it becomes a real competition. (Read "Raising Your Spirited Child" and you'll know what I mean.)
Throughtout Target you can hear "I wanna get out of the basket! I'm not a baby! I wanna get out of the basket!" I'm only going in for two shirts, a quick 5 minute trip. As I'm making my way through rounders in the young girls section, an older woman with a look of "concern" on her face asks if everything is okay. I tell her that my daughter is unhappy with the consequences presented to her and she's just upset that she can't have her way.
"Well, I could hear her from the other end of the store. Are you sure that everything is okay?"
The condescending tone in her voice was like a slap in the face. I look at Kaitlyn and ask, knowing that I won't get a response, "Kaitlyn, are you okay? This lady seems to think that there's something wrong."
"I wanna get out of the basket! I wanna get out of the basket!"
"See, there's nothing wrong. She's just being a tired 5 year old."
"Well you obviously are a cruel parent. There's no reason a child should be crying like that."
"And your kids never pitched a fit?"
"No and unlike your poor daughter, I have very confident children. I don't have to use intimidation to discipline my kids."
OH NO YOU JUST DIDN'T JUST GO THERE! rang in the back of my mind. LISTEN HERE BEE-ATCH!
"Listen lady, I didn't not lay a hand or harm my daughter in a way that you are suggesting."
Lucky for her, I walk away and find the shirts I need and proceed to check-out. There's a saying that goes "Chiquita pero picante!" That's why my husband married me!
My barrio instincts kick into high gear as I notice that this "concerned woman" has followed me. I give her the look from hell and she gets in the line further down from me.
As I'm walking out, I stop my basket in front of hers:
"I don't know who you are but you have got a lot of nerve to criticise, especially wearing that gold cross around your neck. You don't know me or my background. I taught children with parents like you for over 10 years, all spoiled brats. Forgive me for teaching my child that negative actions bear consequences. It's people like you that have caused the mess we're in today!" She gives me an uncomfortable look because by this time, we've gotten the attention of customers, check-out clerks, the security guard, whatever...
I wanted to be a bigger bitch, I wanted to make her feel as bad for thinking that she had it all figured out. Was this person from another planet? I have always thought that moms were supposed to support each other. Needless to say, although I knew that I was in the right, I let her criticism knock me down and feel like the crappiest mom in the world.
Back in the truck, Kaitlyn continued her "I didn't want to ride in the basket! I didn't want to ride in the basket!" Finally, with all of the conviction in my voice that I could muster, I yelled "YOU BE QUIET! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD. SAY ANYTHING ELSE AND NO TV OR COMPUTER!" I felt as if I was drowning in a sea of negativity; I couldn't swim to the shore no matter how hard I tried. I cried as I drove home.
I don't know how much longer I can take this "pushing buttons" phase with Kaitlyn. She did it again this morning. Today was "Dollar Donut Day" at Melissa's daycare. I left Kait in the truck so she wouldn't be late for camp, our next drop-off. Getting out I asked her what kind of donut she wanted. "I don't want one."
I was in complete shock, no donut? "Are you sure?"
"No, I'm sure."
After going back to the truck, I noticed that Kaitlyn was now crying, "I wanted a donut."
Damn if that f****** switch didn't go off. I mustered to stay calm. "You just told me that you didn't want one."
"But I want one now."
"You said no and that's final." So on the way to camp, "I'm hungry, I want a donut." Calmly I reminded her that she had cereal before, snacks in her lunch bag and she would just have to deal with it.
Signing her in at camp, almost a repeat of last night. "Is everything okay? Is Kaitlyn feeling ill?" Again, the consequence explanation. I hate parenting right now. It sucks becuase I feel so incompetent at it. I feel like I might be ruining my relationship with my daughter, scarring her for life.
But then there's the epiphany... What I'm going through right now is totally applicable to what I see as my life's vocation, helping other women. (As a life coach, I'd like to work specifically with women, stay-at-home moms transitioning back into the workplace, working moms that need more balance, self-care and self-valuing, etc.)
I thought about the advice that I've given in the past and how it's so much easier said than done: If you make a threat with a child, you have to follow through; I just happen to have the one kid who likes to call my bluff.

Realization of my life’s vocation??

For the last 4 Friday’s, I’ve been working from home. It’s so much better than being “in the cube”! I work a little, clean a little… the girls are at school/daycare and the hubby is asleep. (He works a compressed week, 7 pm to 7 am.) I feel much less stressed going into the weekend and am actually feeling rested before work on Monday.
To the story… I had lunch with an acquaintance on Friday. I met L at a couple of get-togethers at my boss’s house (candle and Super Bowl parties) and decided that she was a really smart and interesting person. (I’m thinking that she feels the same; when asking for her address, she was impressed that I knew that Hemlock, the name of her street, was not just a tree but Shakespeare’s poison of choice.) Many times, I have a tendency to take over a conversation and then later on I end up feeling badly because I didn’t learn very much about the other person. My goal for the lunch was to LISTEN, not that I would be a stick in the mud, but really try to hear what was going on.
We met at a cool Mediterranean place, the Pita Jungle, replete with modern pieces of art and assorted members of the Y Gen. The waiter was tall, dark, handsome, and the food was great. (Friday being a non-meat day, I had the falafel platter. Oh SO delish!) We talked about work, relationships at work, etc. Before I knew it, we were discussing our husbands and mid-life in general. Cutting to the chase, L is going through a crisis. She’s very unhappy in her marriage and is on the brink of taking the next step, the point of no return.
She mentioned that although she was “oblivious” to it, in her words, “I must be putting something out there; I’ve been getting propositions from the guys at work.” (The division L works in is mostly men, programmers and such.) I knew that she was just kidding herself but how to get her to see that she really knew what she was doing.
I ended up offering bits of my previous life. S is actually my second husband. I was married to Joe for almost five years and lived together for the 5 years previous to that. Hindsight is only amazing if you put it to good use. I’ve got tons of experience in the dysfunctional marriage department so here goes…
Joe and I met in the late 80’s, both musicians with affection for both classical and rock music and hybrids of the two. He, a guitarist, and I a violinist, hit it off. He was funny, smart, and didn’t have any major outward flaws, i.e. drinking too much, slutty behavior, and so forth. Anyway, before long we were officially dating. It was fun. We were gigging a lot, going out with friends and partying, going to any concert that we could. I never really ever felt sexually attracted to him but went down that road anyway.
About a year into the relationship, I got into the insurance business which took me on the road on a regular basis. (I was actually pretty good at it averaging about $600 a week in commissions; not bad for a young gal in her early 20’s.) My horizons were being expanded and I decided that I wasn’t in the relationship I wanted to be in. I actually met a couple of nice guys and exchanged numbers.
On one trip home, I decided that ending the relationship with Joe would be the best thing to do. I hadn’t dated much and wanted to get out and meet other people. Joe took it badly; it’s awful seeing a grown man cry. I went ahead and pursued one of the relationships, actually taking a trip to Tulsa to meet this guy and his daughter. I dated another guy as well, turned out to be an alcoholic, poon-hound. That one ended quickly.
Before I knew it, Joe was knocking on the door, begging me to come back. It was always so strange, I’m not a trophy. Having had problems with alcohol, a dysfunctional childhood and family, chronic depression, you name it; I really don’t know what he saw in me. (Maybe because I was his first real girlfriend??) On my part, I liked Joe because he could be fun and he was much more “settled” than other guys and I could count on the fact that he wouldn’t do anything stupid like getting thrown in jail, drinking too much, or cheating on me. He was “safe”.
I get bored very easily, especially in relationships. If there isn’t an evolution going on, I start to wonder if this is all there is. After almost 10 years of waiting for him to change, I was beginning to lose my mind. Throughout that decade, I had worked on many issues through therapy (getting control of my chronic depression), gone back to school and began teaching, taken us on trips to NYC and Europe, was successfully participating in regional symphony work, playing with an eclectic acoustic guitar group at a coffeehouse, and was a founding member of the area’s best new mariachi groups. I was living my life to its fullest and enjoying it.
Joe was still Joe. He was still doing some gigging but he had the same job at the university (associate librarian) and no plans for finishing his bachelor’s degree. At home, I was the one who paid the bills, bought groceries, did laundry, and so forth. I felt as if I had become a roommate who did all of the work. His lack of “evolution” had really pissed me off and I needed out. I still wanted the American dream, a house and a family. It wasn’t going to happen at the rate we were going unless I did it myself.
Twice I tried leaving. Joe was the master of passive aggressiveness. There was always an excuse: “If you leave, you ruin our family. Our nieces and nephews will be scarred for life. Your medication must be off and you aren’t thinking clearly. We are soul mates and just going through a rough time.” By the time I had made my decision to end it once and for all, I no longer cared. As a matter of fact, I had told one of my best friends, that if I didn’t get out, I had seriously considered suicide as an option. He was like the whiny puppy pulling on your pant leg. Too bad I couldn’t punt him over the fence!
The only way I knew of ending the relationship in a way that Joe would never want me back: I had an affair. I won’t go into the sordid details of that but I will someday. Needless to say, it worked but I ended up ruining many more relationships in the process. The one great thing to come out of it was the fact that it got me to move to Albuquerque where I met my wonderful husband and now have a great family.
I asked L to think about the implications that an affair would have on her family, especially her children. In retrospect, if I had been honest with myself and handled the situation in an honorable manner, things would have turned out much differently. I still live with the guilt of having hurt so many in such a rash decision. I told her that honesty is the best policy, still painful but not as destructive.
After sharing many tidbits of my previous mistakes, L thanked me for listening and sharing. I told her that it was all for selfish reasons; I’m seriously thinking about becoming a life coach and she gave me some valuable practice. (She was excited about being my beta test, lol.)
I felt good after our visit and hoped that I gave her some direction to resolve her problems in a productive way. It also gave me the opportunity to reflect on how far I’ve come and where I want to go. Thanks L!

Peace,
Mon :-)

To post or not to post... or "I don't want to bum anyone out"

I've checked out a few new blogs today and revisited a few favorites. The thing that I found that I like are the people that make comments on everyday life while maintaining a bit of levity. Some of the more "brooding" ones are hard to get through.
Now to the point, the reason I decided to start this blog was because I was going through a really weird time but thanks to the modern miracle of drugs, I'm in a "happier" place than I was back then. (Turns out that a hormone imbalance was causing a lot of my "angst" and lack of energy.)
The real reason I wanted to blog was to keep an online journal of my daily emotional battles; I have issues but I don't feel overwhelmingly consumed by them. Every once in a while I'll have a situation that really "brings me down" and I struggle.
I would hope that sharing some of my life experiences would help others but somehow I don't get how "putting it out there" would accomplish that purpose. If I went to a specialized blog or joined an online community, that might suffice.

**************************************************************
Another random thought...

I finally requested information:

Master of Science (MS) in Education
Training and Performance Improvement Specialization

The master's degree specialization in training and performance improvement is designed for professionals in roles that include training specialist, career counselor, professional coach, sales trainer, adult educator, and performance improvement consultant. Based on the American Society of Training and Development's (ASTD) Human Performance Improvement Model, this online program will teach you how to apply human performance technology to improve productivity in various organizational settings.

I can see myself doing this. I would eventually LOVE to be an executive career/life coach. (Coaching was one of the highest scores I received on the MAPP career assessment. Go to www.assessment.com. I'm glad I did.) I love taking self-assessments and love when others do the same. Its one way of getting to know others on a different level. The last couple of years that I taught, my kids took the Myers-Briggs online and many were surprised at what they found. Life is such an incredible journey... I feel that if I can help others with an authentic path, they might find the fullfillment that I think I'm getting closer to. (So much for brooding here, lol.)

Maybe I just answered my previous question... hooray for levity!!

Peace to all,
Mon :-)