I'm not dead yet...

Okay, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth but I've been remiss in keeping up with my mundane musings.

I love Monty Python (Which one is Monty?) and lately I've felt like the guy being loaded onto the "cart of death" in The Holy Grail. May 25th, coinciding with my hubby's birthday, I got my walking papers from my 'educational software' position. Unless you've ever been laid off with an extended departure date, it's pretty much a waste of time. You don't really have a part to play in meetings and other activities; most of what you have to contribute is irrelevant, or so they think. My favorite example was the meeting to go over registration for summer conference in July. Of course, I had to be a smart arse and raise my hand when the team leader asked if there was anyone that would not be able to make the "8:00 group session on Wednesday..."

Being the person I am, I'm always a step or two ahead and have a couple of options. I told a friend this morning that this situation was actually a blessing in disguise. (I have to stay positive or else I'll have to resort to behaving like a disgruntled postal worker. Why cry when you can laugh?)

And in all honesty, I’m somewhat bitter as well. I sort of martyred myself and no one at work will ever really know. When the news broke of the impending doom, I went to my manager, who is also a good friend, and told her that I wanted to bow out graciously. (Soon, the major ass-kissing and backstabbing amongst team members began; notice the irony of the word ‘team’???) I was not at all interested in the next phase of the project, cutting and pasting into a database for weeks at a time, and they would probably find me dead in my cubicle from a self-inflicted stapler wound.

Decisions were made; there were four positions eliminated. Rumors abound. Of course, I was “let go” but I noticed a certain dynamic about the other winners of this lottery. All of the people that were dismissed are married. Call me crazy… It wasn’t even a matter of who had the most experience or talent. I don’t understand it at all but now know that I choose to stay away from Corporate America. I don't regret this experience but there's a coldness that I can't seem to shake.

My friend and soon-to-be-former-boss called and invited the girls and I over for dinner tonight. I don't know what to feel. I can't imagine what it's like to have to tell someone they aren't going to make the cut. I'm also perplexed about how she made her decisions. One of the people that got the ax relocated across the country for this now-defunct position. He has a wealth of experience and is a great person to work with. I just don't get it.

This company's motto talks about transforming the lives of children and raising education to a higher level... I've been editing scripts for this final phase of production. I swear, some of these people cannot write a complete sentence. This next week is going to be long and tedious. Officially, my last day is June 30th (my daughter's birthday), but I've decided not to go past the 23rd, this next Friday. I'll definetly miss the few good friends that I've made.